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[Mar. 19th, 2007|01:01 pm] |
El examen AP de la lengua española me da mucho miedo.
Yo estudio en una clase de español IV... pero no es una clase, de verdad. Es parte de la clase de español III, y nosotras en español IV sentamos al lado del salón, y hacemos nuestra tarea del libro (y sí, también es un libro de la clase de español III).
Yo busco por el internet, y veo otros estudiantes yendo a presentar el examen AP, y han estudiado español por 5 años... y no puedo creerlo. ¿Que yo presente el mismo examen que ellos? ¡Increíble! Es muy simple -- yo no puedo lograr un '5'... no puedo lograr un '4'... ni un '3', yo creo. ¿Un '2'? Es la misma nota que yo logré en el examen AP de química.
Me *encanta* el español, así que me encantan todas las lenguas. Pero no puedo escribirlo, ni hablarlo, ni oírlo tan bien que los otros estudiantes, en otros colegios, que han sido preparado mucho mejor que yo.
Creo, que no podré hacerlo. :( |
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[Mar. 5th, 2007|03:20 pm] |
| [ | Spirits |
| |  defeated | ] |
No one should be allowed to have to put together a newspaper by themselves. That is not how newspapers work.
I can't write headlines, dammit. Where is that team of editors we used to have, who knew what they were doing? Cause I sure don't feel like I do anymore.
Trying to put together 8 pages...when you do not have 8 *stories* in, to begin with...is a bad idea.
I have much more important things to be wasting my time on than this. |
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[Mar. 3rd, 2007|09:35 pm] |
Today sucked so bad.
I want to go to bed and not wake up until Tuesday afternoon. |
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| spanglish |
[Mar. 2nd, 2007|10:08 pm] |
| [ | Spirits |
| | exhausted | ] |
| [ | Voices |
| | Fatboy Slim - Because We Can | ] |
Esta noche Ricardo me dijo, "Hablas mucho español. Es importante que sigas estudiando español."
That's encouraging. I think the Mexicans will be an important tool towards my doing well on the AP test.
My next task to tackle: Reading this story. Because it's about an axolotl, dammit. I found it translated in my literature book (it's supposed to be a British Literature textbook. I do not understand.), so I had to look for it in Spanish of course.
Y voy a probar leerlo.
Pero ya estoy muuuy fucking cansada...y tengo que trabajar mañana, ugggh... rayos... y también pasado mañana. Me voy a morir. I swear. Y no voy a poder hablar con mi novio casi nunca y voy a estar muy triste, y seré yo triste y cansada y aburrida y no habrá tiempo para descansar ni leer ni navegar el internet ni hacer tarea ni hacer naaaadaaa. No será un buen fin de semana, ¿comprenden?
I'm un poco cynical, of course. |
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| When things are normal, I complain of monotony. Yet when things like this happen, I long for normalcy. |
[Oct. 12th, 2006|10:09 pm] |
| [ | Spirits |
| |  thankful | ] |
| [ | Voices |
| | Radiohead - Airbag | ] |
I am shaken.
My purse smells like gasoline and my glasses don't fit right anymore and for the time being I have no car. I just got back from ASL class and on the whole everything would seem normal but the little details are just not right.
My high school parking pass is sitting on the desk. It should be hanging from my mirror, in my car, but the car was towed away hours ago.
I was driving down the road. He came from a side road, so I was told, but the way I saw it I was driving and then he was diagonal in front of me, turning onto to the road far too late. I was slamming on the brakes but I felt an impact anyway. Airbags flew open.
This shouldn't be happening.
I was terrified out of my mind. It wasn't my fault, it wasn't even something I could blame on the fact that I was a new driver and inexperienced and whatever. It happened anyway.
It was a huge ordeal, getting my parents over and talking to the police and the other guy and all that. And, an hour late, I went to class anyway. It felt good to be doing something normal.
But people are going to hear about it, and ask about it, and say the same things I'll hear from every other person about it, and it'll keep being brought up over and over again.
But yes, of course, thank goodness that everyone's okay. If ever I had that feeling of 'teenage immortality' that everyone talks about, it's gone from me now.
Now, I just want to return to normal. I want to change out of these clothes and lose the lingering smell of gasoline. The rest of the world is going on with or without me. If I blink, I'll miss it.
~Joy |
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| Things never do work out. |
[Oct. 10th, 2006|12:19 pm] |
| [ | Spirits |
| |  pessimistic | ] |
Um.
The Costa Rica trip was canceled.
And the teacher organizing it has lymphoma (caught it in the early stages, so he should be okay, or so I'm told).
It was apparently canceled last week and no one told me. No emails, no announcements, no nothing. We already paid some $300 as a deposit, I don't know what's going to happen with that. With any luck we'll get it back, but who knows.
So now some things have changed. Not all of it bad, I guess. I'm still really disappointed. Now:
-I can save my money for other things
-I can get the rest of my PE credit in the springtime, instead of having to take a whole semester of PE
-I won't have to deal with taking off work for a week/making up college stuff
-I...uh...won't have to get a passport? It's getting tougher to find the bright side of this the more I think about it.
Meh. This is what happens. Things seem to be going really well and you get yourself all psyched up about it, and then it just gets knocked down. |
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| One of the creepier things I've seen recently |
[Sep. 28th, 2006|04:22 pm] |
Driving today I saw a squirrel on the road, that'd presumably just been run over.
There wasn't any blood or anything, just this grey ball of fur lying in the middle of the road.
Twitching. |
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[Sep. 11th, 2006|08:50 pm] |
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
WORK
THUNDERSTORM
OUTAGE
CABLE
INTERNET
ROUTER
CRAPPY LIBRARY COMPUTERS
DRIVING
LOST
TIRED
*screams*
It's not been a very good past 2 days, 'k?
I'm going to bed. I don't care that it's not yet 9pm. I'm going to BED.
Edit: Scratch that. I'm staying up. |
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| Who on earth can I trust? |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|11:36 pm] |
| [ | Spirits |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | Voices |
| | Wall of Voodoo - Mexican Radio | ] |
Man, what the fuck.
I thought I was good at this. I thought I could get to know a person, on the internet, and be able to tell if they were a creep or if something was wrong about them.
For the second time, on Superdickery, a guy has come out saying he's not who we thought he was. The first time was weird, but in a sort of cool way, y'know? Wow. The guy's not a teacher, he's just a kid. Wow. Good job man.
The second time. God DAMN. Why couldn't I see this coming? Why couldn't I tell that something was amiss? How many other people like this are there?
I'm angry at him, I'm angry at myself, I'm angry at my parents for thinking they know better than me because for once they probably do. Wounded pride.
I'm most angry of all that I'm telling YOU. YOU, GUYS ON THE INTERNET! Hey guess what, it's possible I don't know anything about you really. I've always told myself, "Hey, I'm honest, I know these people, and this is the kind of stuff that's too long-term and in-depth to fake."
But I knew Matt for 9 months at the time of his announcement, and I've known this guy for over a year.
He had pictures, he had recordings of his voice. How can you really prove identity?
Rest assured, this doesn't have anything to do with Lewis.
But damn. What is so difficult with being yourself? |
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| Now that that's over and done with... |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|01:49 am] |
| [ | Spirits |
| |  relieved | ] |
So there I was, having a regular emo episode. Lying on the couch and going through my long list of inadequacies one by one. Feeling sort of miserable in a way I hadn't felt for a long time.
I'm sick of this, I thought to myself, If I don't quit it soon I won't be able to get to sleep. Just drop it.
So I did. And I laughed, because I didn't really expect it to work. But... hey! The weight has been lifted! And I'm no longer wallowing in self-pity, and I'm no longer angry at the rest of the world. Didn't know I had so much power over myself.
It's a neat trick; you should try it sometime. Things work out better when you don't take life so seriously.
Back to your regular, not-so-depressing Joy journal. I have a test to take tomorrow/today evening, ack... |
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[Jun. 29th, 2006|12:28 am] |
| [ | Spirits |
| |  confused | ] |
...I am slowly beginning to realise that I know very little that's important in life. And what I do know isn't very important.
Nothing specific brought it on. Just a feeling I'm getting. Seventeen years taking in the world, and what do I have to show for it? I know lots of things, I'm sure, but what do any of them matter? When are they ever useful to me?
I feel ignorant and frustrated and I don't know why. Dammit. |
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| I saw V for Vendetta again tonight. |
[Apr. 1st, 2006|11:58 pm] |
A movie which provokes thought is a dangerous thing.
While I may be seeing it with friends, in a movie theatre I am alone. Silent and alone in a large dark room with only my thoughts.
Needless to say, V is a thought-provoking film. Not only for its detailed story, unsubtle politics, ethical questions and all that, but also for personal reasons of my own. Over time things get associated with one another for unclear reasons.
So I spent a lot of time tonight thinking. Of persons present, persons absent, persons I've never met. Feeling very strange. Not "emo" per se but certainly emotional.
Feeling my head swoon. My stomach do somersaults. My muscles weak. Feeling uneasy and unable to talk. Thinking hard and watching the film and everything seems hyper-real. My vision is sharper and my pulse is racing. It's not entirely unpleasant.
Being in a particularly hormonal phase right now, added to emotional factors that only I know about or notice, added to the residual awkwardness and pressure of a social situation (I'm still not entirely used to it) leaves me so completely drained.
As I was leaving the theatre tonight I was ready to pass out. It all sort of felt like an overload. |
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[Mar. 25th, 2006|11:12 pm] |
Everything's okay, we think. The doctor thinks he's had a TIA, a "mini-stroke". He didn't have any of the classic symptoms of a stroke; slurred speech or half the body going wonky or anything like that; but he said that he had trouble expressing things in speech - he could think of what he was trying to say but couldn't put it into words. My grandpa (his dad)'s had them, too.
He's staying the night at the hospital and Mom and I spent most of the evening with him. It was scary as fuck the first few minutes. I really had no idea what was going on, what was going to happen. I was panicking, badly.
It's been a rough night. But it's going to be okay.
On a lighter note, we ran out to a nearby Italian restaurant to have dinner and bring something back for Dad. Our server introduced himself as "Chad, like the country."
~Joy |
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[Mar. 25th, 2006|05:24 pm] |
Sitting here minding my own business and I hear my mom calling 911.
...
My dad fell to the floor - still conscious, but hot and sweaty, disoriented, says he feels like he's half asleep and can't think.
...
!!! |
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[Mar. 4th, 2006|11:05 am] |
Sickening, depressing statistic of the day:
AIDS in Africa.
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[Jul. 8th, 2005|03:55 pm] |
| [ | Voices |
| | The Postal Service - Sleeping In | ] |
I dreamt that my grandma died :'[
It was really weird 'cos everyone thought she was dead at first but then she got up and I hugged her and told her how much I loved her and all that and then she actually did die. I woke up crying. It was sad. |
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[Jun. 12th, 2005|02:15 am] |
I need to get away from this computer and watch a movie or something. I know I won't be able to sleep. I'm not going to try. |
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| el scorrrrcho >_>; |
[Jun. 12th, 2005|12:20 am] |
| [ | Spirits |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | Voices |
| | Weezer - El Scorcho | ] |
When one is angsting over lack of friends/significant others, it is rather unwise to go through a chain of people's friends on Myspace. Almost anyone ends up looking sexy. Especially when they have Hitchhiker's Guide in their 'books' category and their AIM name ends in 42. And they like Weezer.
*whimper*
And how can this stupid song bring a mild angst and longing to a full-blown "now I won't be able to sleep" situation? This fucking song always does that. For no reason at all.
http://www.bertilow.com/persone/tekstoj/en_la_spegulo.html |
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[Jun. 4th, 2005|06:10 pm] |
| [ | Spirits |
| |  depressed | ] |
This afternoon, I opened up Winamp. It wouldn't play the first 5 songs I tried, until it got to some of my TMBG stuff. I asked Dad what was wrong, because he has a habit of moving my files around without telling me. Last time he did this, he moved all of my music and language stuff to the new E drive.
He did all his usual computer magic to no avail.
So... I have lost all of my music and all of my language resources, save what I have ripped from CDs (IE, my TMBG stuff) and the 128mb I had on my MP3 player. Dad says it doesn't look good about getting anything back. The entire E drive is gone.
I'm glad I decided not to move the rest of my folder, which includes pictures, art, and writing, to the E drive.
They always tell you to make backups but I always get screwed over anyway. When I do make a backup, the entire harddrive gets deleted anyway.
Ugh. And I know this has happened to other people, I just feel like giving my own personal bitch about it. I lost all my Disney songs, which as you all should know was a HUGE collection with some awesome stuff in it. I also lost all my Dido shows, etc.
Today has kind of sucked. |
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| "All they can do is paint me yellow and write "ACHTUNG: Jewish Waiter"!" |
[May. 10th, 2005|06:19 pm] |
| [ | Spirits |
| | gloomy | ] |
| [ | Voices |
| | Elliott Smith - Sweet Adeline | ] |
Kevin Smith's daughter is named Harley Quinn Smith. For serious.
In other news, authors have been mercilessly playing hard and fast with my emotions this afternoon. I finished three things today - the Green Arrow book, which was awesome awesome awesome, Children of Men, which had an annoying last 1/4 of the story, and I caught Life is Beautiful on A&E.
I'd heard about the film earlier, but never got around to hunting it down. To be honest, I first started watching it because I noticed it was dubbed. The first part (before all of the death camp, Nazi depressing stuff) was quite funny, so I kept watching and it just pulled me in.
So between those three occurred an innumerable amount of death, carnage (particularly in Children of Men... In the end they just decide to hell with it and start killing off members of the group. They always do that when there's a huge group, wtf. And I didn't mark a spoiler 'cos the last part of it sucks anyhow), betrayal (*points to self screaming at comic book "You dick! You dick!"*), and all that good stuff which tends to leave a person completely unprepared to start up reading another comedy novel. Drat.
CJ's last day is next Thursday. =( Damn the seniors...
You know, it's hard to believe just how close the end of the year actually is. Mr. Curless is talking about me using my aide bell to finish painting the mural. (I skipped today because Chad didn't seem to be there.) The more I think about it, the more I think summer won't be as great as I always expect it to be. After all, no friends, no Spanish [except what I might hunt down myself... which will probably be...nada], not much doing anything... We will have a vacation, which is more than we did last year, and I might take some one or two week class at a college and I might do some working at my mom's office, but obviously I won't have something to do every single day like I do now. Which saddens me.
So I need stuff to cheer me up now, I think.
~Joy gets to read some DNA now =D |
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| Ni ddaw mwy o gyd ddigwyddiadau prydferth |
[Apr. 30th, 2005|01:38 pm] |
| [ | Spirits |
| |  good | ] |
| [ | Voices |
| | Super Furry Animals - Cryndod yn Dy Lais | ] |
OHMYGOD THANK GOD FOR UNICODE
So lately, some special characters around the 'net have been showing up as Chinese characters for me. I didn't realise exacty why 'til now:
I had changed the encoding on IE to default to Japanese, because I was looking at some song lyrics! *facepalm*
So I switched it back to normal, and then realised there was another option -- Unicode UTF-8. I changed it to that, and the Esperanto e-mail I was reading ACTUALLY DISPLAYED THE SPECIAL CHARACTERS! ON YAHOO MAIL!
What an epiphany. Holy shit why didn't I think of it before? I wonder if the IPA symbols on linguaphiles will show up now...
Hah, I'm reading a review for the Super Furry Animals CD in Welsh (that I just bought, hence them showing up in my music):
That the band is capable of cramming a songs with names like "Pan Ddaw'r Wawr" and "(Nid) Hon Yw'r Gan Sy'n Mynd i Achub yr Iaith" in your head is commendable, if not downright astounding.
Also, the Science Channel made me cry today... ='|
They had segments about SETI, the Arecibo message, the Voyager probes, and various attempts to send out information into space on their show Discoveries This Week. The thought about messages and images that may very well live on past us, and will go on forever through space, even if they're not found, shreds of our culture and world...
*wipes off tear* I don't know, it's just kind of touching. Really touching actually.
Oh my god... ahahahah... I just realised it now... Ahahahaha...
Have you all seen *IT* yet? Because if not, I don't know if it's really spoiler or anything, but... AHAHHAHAHA
I had a dream. And I just remembered a part of it. Stop reading now if you don't want to be spoiled a gag from HHG that really did catch me off guard.
Stop now.
Don't look down.
You gone? Okay.
So in HHG, Humma Kavula is the big Popey cheese. His Great Green Arkleseizure-ian religion is hugely huge and as far as I can tell based off the Catholic church to a T. His sermon was fantastic and I laughed my ass off...One of the only parts of the movie where I did.
Okay, enough background. So he's John Malkovich and he wears glasses that eerily resemble my 3d glasses.
He takes them off in one part of the movie -- revealing these gaping holes. His 'eyes' in the rest of the movie are apparently just video screens. It's very creepy and he's an ugly-ass creature for sure.
I can only guess that this scene made an impression on me, because in my dream there was a whale. A big, blue whale. And he had gaping holes in the exact same style for his eyes. I don't know what PART this thing played in my dream, but he was there. Hurm.
~Joy has a boring sleepy weekend ahead of her :) |
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