Current mood:	thankful
Current music:	Radiohead - Airbag
Entry tags:	depressing, life

When things are normal, I complain of monotony. Yet when things like this happen, I long for normalcy.
I am shaken.
My purse smells like gasoline and my glasses don't fit right anymore and for the time being I have no car. I just got back from ASL class and on the whole everything would seem normal but the little details are just not right.
My high school parking pass is sitting on the desk. It should be hanging from my mirror, in my car, but the car was towed away hours ago.

I was driving down the road. He came from a side road, so I was told, but the way I saw it I was driving and then he was diagonal in front of me, turning onto to the road far too late. I was slamming on the brakes but I felt an impact anyway. Airbags flew open.
This shouldn't be happening.
I was terrified out of my mind. It wasn't my fault, it wasn't even something I could blame on the fact that I was a new driver and inexperienced and whatever. It happened anyway.

It was a huge ordeal, getting my parents over and talking to the police and the other guy and all that. And, an hour late, I went to class anyway. It felt good to be doing something normal.

But people are going to hear about it, and ask about it, and say the same things I'll hear from every other person about it, and it'll keep being brought up over and over again.

But yes, of course, thank goodness that everyone's okay. If ever I had that feeling of 'teenage immortality' that everyone talks about, it's gone from me now.

Now, I just want to return to normal. I want to change out of these clothes and lose the lingering smell of gasoline. The rest of the world is going on with or without me. If I blink, I'll miss it.

~Joy